A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
