I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
