You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
how do flat chested girls get laid?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
