Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
