Duck Duck Cougar?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
