After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize