so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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