We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
