I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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