Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
