I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
