yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
