you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
