WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
