I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
