We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
