i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
