Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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