I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
