Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
