I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
