what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
