I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
