Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
