Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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