I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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