I am in a vortex of obligation.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
