Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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