It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
