I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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