low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
