Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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