So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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