i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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