I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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