i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no you cant smoke seaweed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
