I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
