Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
