She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
