Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
