Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
