you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
