Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
