I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
