So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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