There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
