you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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