Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
