bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
