she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm passing your future prison.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
